#9 Grindhouse

There's obviously an incredible amount of subjectivity when it comes to coming up with any "best of" list. However, when it comes to movies, there are certainly things that professional critics and scholars tend to view as being among the more important factors in deciding a film's "greatness". For example, a story may have a so-so plot, but if the movie is paced well, has great camera shots and a fitting score, a critic may deem such a movie as an example of "good filmmaking".

But another factor that should be used in determining what makes a good movie is the actual experience of watching the movie. Obviously, it wouldn't be fair to say a movie is bad because you burnt your popcorn or you just got into a fight with someone before you started watching it. But a good movie maker should look outside of the movie itself and try to take into account the setting it is being viewed in. In this regard, there are certainly some movies that are meant to be seen in theaters. Many might think it's absurd to spend $10 to drive out to see something with other people, instead of staying at home and watching a movie over cable or Netflix. But, in many cases, you won't do a film justice if you see it at home.

Grindhouse epitomizes that type of movie.

It is a movie about the movies. A send-up of the days when people didn't go to movies at midnight because they had to be the first person to see something that will be playing at 4,000 screens the next day. They went to movies at that time because it was the only time that such perverted and gory material would be shown. And these midnight showings wouldn't be in megaplexes outside of a mall where teenagers would meet up to see the latest big-budget blockbuster. They were weirdos or creeps who would go into small, independent, and dirty theaters and watch some cheap trash.

Grindhouse relishes in that. It's a double feature with Planet Terror by Robert Rodriguez, and Death Proof by Quentin Tarantino. There are fake trailers directed by Edgar Wright, Rob Zombie and Eli Roth. There is acting that is (except in the case of Fergie) intentionally awful, fake cigarette burns and complete scenes that are missing.

Planet Terror is as B-Movie as you're going to get. It's a cheesy 70's style zombie fest. Freddy Rodríguez, (who may be my favorite Hispanic actor) is El Wray, which I believe, when translated into English, means "The Fucking Man". Rose McGowan is hot as always, and Naveen Andrews make his torturous Sayid character on Lost seem like a wimp as he plays a guy who collects people's testicles. There are also appearances by Bruce Willis and of course Tarantino.

Planet Terror may not be what the aforementioned scholars would refer to as a "good movie", but it's certainly awesome in it's awesomely bad way. However, it's biggest problem may be the setup it gave to the follow up feature, Death Proof.

I remember some of the people I talked to after seeing Grindhouse were much more pleased with Planet Terror than with Death Proof. Maybe because Planet Terror was a B-zombie movie, people expected something similar with Death Proof. That being said, Death Proof may go down as Tarantino's most underrated film.

Death Proof is about a stuntman who goes by the name Stuntman Mike. Now, Stuntman Mike gets off in an unusual way. Whenever he finds women attractive, he feels like murdering them with his car. In this way, Death Proof is half a serial killer horror film, and half an homage to the movies it specifically mentions within the story, such as Vantage Point and the original Gone in 60 Seconds.

While not as twisted as Stuntman Mike, Tarantino himself certainly has some weird sexual idiosyncrasies, like his obvious foot fetish. But his female characters in Death Proof are extremely entertaining, and their dialogue is as well written as any other Tarantino personalities. They are silly yet smart. Girly yet strong. Sexy yet independent. They act and talk in a way that I'd like to think women act and talk like when guys aren't around. And the second group of girls final showdown with Stuntman Mike has got to be one of the most female empowering scenes I have ever seen.

Unfortunately, Grindhouse was a disaster at the box office. Warner Brothers believed that this happened because people didn't want to see long movies in theaters, and reportedly cut the length of the 5th Harry Potter movie because of that reason. Now, I know that studios don't always act in the smartest way, but that has to be the dumbest rationalization I have ever heard. So The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Carribean movies were unsuccessful? At least, I really hope that Warner Brothers was wrong. I can't understand how audiences are able to sit through eight hours of Johnny Depp being a pirate who fights zombies(and they're making another one!), but not be able to enjoy something as original as Grindhouse.

Whatever it was, Grindhouse wasn't that successful. And the powers that be now only air the movies separately on TV or sell them individually on DVD. So even though it will be impossible to replicate that movie watching experience, if you haven't seen either film I urge you to go out and check it out. And even if you have, you should see them again. Because there is plenty of extra material added that they didn't have time to show in theaters.

Two words for you: Lap-dance.